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August 25, 2004
I have been in Kauffman,
I have been in Kauffman, enjoying company of friends, enjoying seeing Brad. But I realized tonight that I've been in a slump since sometime last shcool year when I found out my mom had cancer.
Anyways, long story short, I've been distant... or at least, the part of me that really matters has. Sure you might not have noticed, but then again, how often did I ever open up about the spiritual side or my emotions? The problem is that it's not like I'm just not opening up to you, I'm not really opening up to anyone... even Sarah.
I think I'm afraid to try and love, because I came so close to losing someone dear and it just sent me into a shock. The whole thing has screwed me up to the point where I don't know if I can drag people along with me on this journey that hopefully will find me able to open up to people again and find something that has been missing.
Who knows... I've just been adrift going from day to day for the past few months. Not the way I always like to live.
Change of scenery to San Diego... will it help? who knows...
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Posted by badwillhunting at August 25, 2004 01:58 AM