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June 21, 2005
Fuck Fuck Fuck!
Ok, I'm actually not all that broken up by Nebraska being eliminated from the College World Series. It was a great game and the team has had an amazing season. I'm really proud of their efforts and we have what looks like a great ballclub coming back next year.
I'll hit the fall scrimmages, but more importantly, it's now officially football season.
Let's go Huskers!
-Will
Posted by badwillhunting at 07:17 PM | Comments (0)
June 12, 2005
long days, long nights,
I don't think I ever fully recover from wounds, well, I have recovered from some, but some I don't know that I'm ready or know how to heal. A darkness fills me, something that courses through my blood. Blood boiling... I can make it do that in an instant with the right thoughts. The ability to access rage and anger has never, ever been as close and as easy as it is now.
Do I have anger issues, no, not really. Do I do anything irrational when I'm angry? Nah. Could I? Probably not.
I know this, I have seen the destruction of the wrong influences in many people's lives. I have seen how a heart can be ripped open and exposed. I have seen the twisting of a mind.
I feel defeated. I have failed those I cared about, I have failed myself... no, that's not true. I suppose I don't feel that I've failed, only that I don't know what to do next. I'm lost in a way, unsure of where to turn, unsure of what the next step should be. I struggle to keep myself from diving below the surface, becoming once again invisible and insignificant.
So much of my life has changed. My closest high-school groupings have finally seen their ends, the Amigos faction probably was finally laid to rest as the member that brought us the closest and was our heart and soul left town. My two best friends from high-school have both moved on, one to an island chain, the other to Omaha with his new wife.
I know generally what my purpose is, but the specific opportunity has yet to present itself. I realize I'm probably preparing in some way for what's to come. I think I know what's to come, but I don't know how to get there, and I'm burdened by the weight of it. I know I will be attacked, my reputation ruined, my life put under the most intense magnifying glass ever This is my most desperate hour and in times of need some of my greatest allies have returned. Perhaps new keys will be unlocked in the new conversations.
I must go to Missoula and Seattle, I don't want to go searching for answers or expecting them, but I always learn something about myself from the mentors that reside there.
Who are you?
-Will
Posted by badwillhunting at 10:48 PM | Comments (0)
June 09, 2005
Dark Lord, esq.
Long fricking week... long several weeks. I'm still shocked its already June. Anyways, a brief rundown involves me killing children, choking the wife, and generally turning to the dark side. Terribly headaches you get though, not a path for everyone, though it is quick and easy. Kinda like masturbation.
In all seriousness though, work busys me, I'm always working on issues of magazines or stories, and this week one of my best friends from high-school is getting married and I'm in the wedding. Rehearsal dinner is at James Arthur Vineyard, better have a Designated Driver... Is it bad that the groom, a drinker, didn't know what the acronym "DD" stood for when I was telling him of this earlier today?
I have a haircut in the morning, instructing my "secretary" to make the appointment at 11:30 or later... she tells me I must be there at 10. Lost an hour and a half of sleep. A droid will pay for this incompetence. Oh wait, Dark Lord sneaking through there again.
Anyways, I'm amusing myself with the unrated version of Coyote Ugly... I'm the uh, lab rat, trying to find out why its unrated so we can tell customers so they can buy more...
If you believe that, I got an Oasis on Mustafar to sell you.
This has been way to nerdy a night, and I think the Vanilla Porter is talking.
If you're in town, stop by Best Buy, I'm good at making myself seen there.
-Will
Posted by badwillhunting at 01:46 AM | Comments (0)