The first is Friday Night Lights. If you're not watching this show - you should be. It's fucking incredible. You can even get the first season for 15 bucks on Amazon and they have a money-back guarantee on it. Wow!

Anyways, Landry's dad sees Tyra sneaking out his bedroom window on the morning, and ends up going to her work and confronting her after he orders from her:

Mr. Clarke: "So tell me something, are you and my son dating?"
Tyra: I um... I... I don't know , actually
Mr. Clarke: Cause I have to tell you, I don't get it. I mean, no disrespect intended, but as a parent I don't understand it, I mean, you could date anyone you want to... what do you want with my kid Landry?
Tyra: Landry, he's um... *pauses* he's a wonderful guy, he's smart, and kind, and caring, he's funny and he's really nice to be around.
*they look at each other for a few seconds*
Tyra: You should know that being his father and all.
Mr. Clarke: I appreciate that
Tyra - coldly: You want that burger medium or well done?
Mr. Clarke: Medium is fine.

Great stuff. The acting, cinematography, direction, lighting, everything is amazing in this show.

The other moment I loved was from Grey's Anatomy, a show I've been watching since episode one. Last season we rough, but it's gotten much better this year... I think removing Addison has helped the show immensely.

Anyways, Sheperd and Meredith have been discussing leaving at the end of the day to go for a weekend away to get 48 hours of uninterrupted time together (sex). Meredith comes running down the stairs chasing Shepherd as he's about to leave. She's been annoyed at him for talking to her intern sister Lexi.

Meredith: I got Alex to cover me so I can leave after I run all my patients.
Shepherd: Oh... yeah...
Meredith: 48 uninterrupted hours.
Shepherd: Um... you know, maybe this isn't a good weekend.
Meredith: What did Lexi say to you?
Shepherd: She didn't say anything, I did all the talking.... oh, don't blame her.
Meredith: So, what, you're friends with my sister now? You talked to the other Grey about me.
Shepherd: You know what I talked about with the other Grey? *pauses* All the things this Grey won't let me say.
Meredith: You can say anything to me.
Shepherd cocks his head and looks at her.
Shepherd: I want to marry you... I want to have kids with you, I want to build us a house... I want to settle down, and grow old with you... I want to die, when I'm a hundred and ten years old, in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours, I want a lifetime.
Meredith fidgets, Shepherd nods.
Shepherd: You see what happens? I say things like that, and you fight the urge to run the opposite direction. It's ok, I understand. I didn't, but now I do. I do. You're just getting started, I've been doing this for a long time. Deep down... you're still an intern, and you're not ready.
Meredith: I'm not ready, right now... but things can stay the way they are, and I can't get ready. I'll get ready.
Shepherd: Things CAN stay the way they are, and we can meet in the elevator, in the on-call room... and maybe you'll be ready. You know what, I'll wait until you're ready.
Meredith looks unsure, and smiles.
Meredith: Ok then.
Shepherd: But what, what if while I'm waiting, I meet someone who is willing to give me what I want from you?
Meredith: Well, what if you do meet someone?
Shepherd: I don't know.

Shepherd steps into the elevator, looking upset, Grey looks after him, doors close.

Such an awesome scene.

I've done some cool stuff the past few weeks though.

Knott's Scary Farm -
The biggest and longest running Halloween event in the United States is an absolute blast. There are 11 Haunted Mazes, 2 Haunted rides, a bunch of shows, and the roller coasters are open. It was pretty awesome. Some of the themes included a Doll Factory, Clown College, Scary Las Vegas, Fairy Tales, an Asylum, Beowulf, The Grudge, Pirates!, and a couple other I'm forgetting. We were there till 1am and had an absolute blast.

Koala -
Nick stopped by from Tuscon. We grabbed food at a local hotspot and Larry King was in there having dinner which was kinda crazy. Outside of that we had a nice french meal the next night, watched Transformers and just hung out. I took him by the Church of Scientology which amused him.

So, you have a sister-
Katie was down in San Diego visiting a high-school friend. They came up to long-beach to see high-school friend's girlfriend, and I met them all for dinner. Good times. I'll see her and the rest of the family in a month, but it was still a good time to get a few hours of hanging out in.

Ratchet -
Almost done with this campaign. The game just got moved back up to its original release, so it should be out in the next couple days. Been a busy and exhausting campaign at times, but it's good to have shipped a second game.

So now the month is widening down and we're heading into the Holiday season. I'm totally looking forward to Halloween and have to put my costume together this weekend. After that holiday is over we'll see where things go. Football season has lost a lot of its luster for me, but I'm still trying to enjoy it - though Nebraska's games have turned into the least pleasurable aspect for me.

November is a month that looks like it holds some promise. Schedule is very much up in the air, but I've got meetings in San Francisco for a couple of days, and I want to try to get to Portland for a weekend. It's been a month since Kristin was here, but finding the time to get together is always a challenge.

After that, I'm back in Nebraska for a few days for Thanksgiving. I'll be back in L.A. right after Thanksgiving. I may or may travel a bit during that month, but we've got a few things going on, and Ryan will likely be out post-production vacay and I'll be running point. The company holiday party falls in there, and then I've got 3 1/2 weeks off. What will I do? That's the main thing I'm trying to figure out right now. I'll be in Lincoln for the holidays, but from Jan 2-Jan 17th is very much up in the air. Who knows, I may be visiting YOU.

-Will
When the power's out, in the heart of man.
Take it from your heart, put it in your hand.

I'm guilty of the realist phrase, I said it a lot for a long period of time. Somewhere in the past few years though, I realized that it wasn't really being true to myself.

In reality, to me, minimizing the hope I have for something by being realistic about it is a way of avoiding the pain if it doesn't happen, or if nothing else, lessening it. In several ways, I'm not being true to myself, I'm not allowing myself to understand how much I want something to happen, or understand why I'm so disappointed when it doesn't. I essentially numb myself to strong feelings that I can learn a lot from.

It's been hard, but it's something I've managed to pull myself away from being a "realist." I let myself hope, I really grab onto those dreams and try to understand what it is about them that appeals to me. Sometimes it works out, and I feel like I can fully enjoy the successes and things that work out. I've been crushed, hit with devastating disappointments - but I feel like I cope with them better, I get past them more quickly. Disappointments used to be buried, I'd harden myself against them, experiencing even some suppressed anger or frustration.

It could be I'm wacko and relying on feelings - which I'm sure some of my friends would think is illogical. I understand why people are realists, I understand that it's the logical thing to do. I also know that it's not true to what I'm really feeling or thinking, and I'm doing my best to stick to that.

-Will

A vial of hope and a vial of pain
In the light they both look the same.

But then I go and get sucked in. Kristin and I were on the phone before I was going to go to bed, and she asks "Do you want to play Halo with me?" Nothing I could do, I had to play. Two and a half hours later I didn't feel too bad about my Halo skillz. I'm not as good as her or the peeps that are regular Halo players, but c'mon, I played Halo 2 online for maybe 5-10 hours tops. I really haven't played the game significantly since H1 in Kauffman when we did the LAN nights.

So I was happy with my performance overall. Had some stinkers of games, but also had some pretty impressive ones, and I'm still a complete badass on a Ghost.

-Will

Heading back down there tonight and will brave the traffic on the 5 Freeway yet again. Going to take him up to the South Bay area, it's just a bit too far to get back up to Santa Monica/Hollywood knowing I'd have to drive back to Costa Mesa and then back to Studio City again. But it should be fun to go hang in a typical beach town with Skyler and co.

Lots of entertaining stories last night, hopefully tonight holds more of the same.

Screenshots are something I have taken over this year on Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction. Now I learned quickly on Resistance: Fall of Man what a pain in the ass these are. I got some good ones back then, but getting used to our art team's criticism and pickyness is a challenge. I still took several key shots, including one of the Back of Box shots.

We had lots of disasters with Resistance shots, resolutions coming out wrong, lighting being off, no shadows, etc. There are all sorts of crazy things that happen with a game in live development. On top of that, there are a bunch of debug options you need to adjust to pull good screens.

With Ratchet, there have been no major issues... until this week. Electronic Gaming Monthly, Gamepro, and PSM are running reviews. They need screenshots. I started taking shots on Monday, and got 10 good ones.. plenty. It was a 12-hour day. First thing that morning, I find out that they aren't going to work due to a bug that is causing them to be blurry... I then go back and look at every build of the game we sill have. We don't keep all the builds, just to a certain date, and the previous build I was using for shots was no longer available...

I spent yesterday tracking this stuff down... finally around 6, our tech team, got a hack fix to me. I spent four hours trying (mostly successfully) to replicate my approved shots. I then spent all of today trying to get more and get action shots. I finally sent those off around 4:30... finished with 3 days of hellish screens... of course, an hour later we get a request for one more shot with a specific weapon.

an hour in the game, and I have an approved shot just getting its levels adjusted.

Looooooong three days.

-Will

"Long days, long nights, the feeling's just not right, I pick up my pen and pad and start to write."

When I was younger, I would occasionally have a very vivid and specific dream --- many times these dreams later came true. I discounted this a lot based on deja vu, or something not being specific enough, but eventually, it came together into some very specific dreams where I realized that I had indeed seen something that was going to happen before it did.

Fast-forward to college. The clearest incident of this ever was when I found out that someone specific was going to forget that it was my birthday. It came in the shower in the form of a voice in my head - a very distinct one, and it also said something distinct about the conversation. Less than 6 hours later, it went down exactly as described. Since then, that voice has been accurate.... shockingly so. It doesn't always give me a complete foreknowledge, but I learned of betrayals, I learned of things happening that I couldn't have known about, and I have avoided some huge pitfalls that were right in front of me.

What is that voice? I'm not entirely sure. Could it be my brain reacting to the environment, but perceiving it in such a way that it can feel the flow of events? Perhaps. Could it be a hallucination, something I'm imagining or maybe my instinct, a gut feel? Could it be a higher power? I think I've never made any mistake to say that I believe in God - though my beliefs there have evolved strongly over the years.

Personally, at this point in my life, I do believe it is God. It's not a voice I can just call upon, or have any real way of getting an answer, but it has never, ever failed, and it always has seemed to show up at key moments, steering me towards something.

I'm sure some of you will think I'm batshit crazy. And honestly, I sort of do myself. But it works for me. And I've been relying on this voice for nearly 5 1/2 years now... it seems to be working for me.

Just some very interesting thoughts. I already know what you're going to leave in the comments, so go ahead, but I really do already know. (joking... haha... maybe.)

-Will

Don't need money, don't need fame

The rest of the weekend was fun too, Oliver, her dog was along for the ride and we spent a lot of time playing and hanging out with him. He grew to get pretty fond of me, even letting me take him out to go to the bathroom this morning without her, which is pretty impressive since he's so skittish. We played Ratchet & Clank, had a couple good dinners together, and just really enjoyed spending time together - we hadn't seen each other in almost a month.

Now I'm at home, on a Sunday afternoon, and somewhat melancholy. It just all went by too quickly. I think it's harder because her schedule is insane for the next month, and I really don't know when I'll see her again - hopefully during EForAll Expo, but as far as quality time away from the gaming scene, it may be end of October/into November.

I never really have been someone to be emotional when I leave family and friends behind. I think when Tim moved from Lincoln was a rare occasion when I cried. I was somewhat emotional when I moved from Lincoln to Los Angeles when I pulled out of the driveway and then out of Lincoln, knowing I wasn't going back. Kristin leaving the hotel in Seattle last month, and dropping her off at the airport today, have both stirred those really strong feelings in me. I'm not sure what to make of them or how to deal with them. I'm just sort of surprised by them right now.

-Will

Your hair, it's everywhere.

I can't wait for this weekend. :-)

-Will

With the birds I'll share
this lonely view...

We'll see how it goes.

-Will

Argh. I just need to refocus in the next couple days on getting the podcast out the door this week, and then hopefully I can get some things sorted out this weekend. I need a turn of luck though, I can't have this rough streak running into this weekend. That would just be right out.

-will

They'll simply say it's shitty and refuse

Outside of that, being in Lincoln was fun. I ate at Bread & Cup, which was really good and really cool. Wish I could go there more! Kevin is awesome and it's cool to see his dream come alive and actually taste it.

Went to Misty's the night before the game, had never done that before and it was cool to finally experience that "tradition." Got to see Steve Waid from Nerd Camp there briefly, and again later, when we were both at Eppley leaving on Sunday. I saw my sister in the Northstar marching band, caught some drinks with JDE people and said happy birthday to Katie Thommasset.

GameDay was much more chill. I slept in, ran some errands with family, and then had a nice big meal at Lazlos with some good beer before watching the debacle. My uncle and I then went to Old Chicago for another couple beers and a snack and watched Florida State take care of Colorado.

The weekend sort of flew by, but it was a lot of fun. I got home exhausted, but managed to fight through and stay up until 3 am or so talking online and continuing to clean.

I've got company coming this weekend, more precisely on Thursday and staying through Monday morning. Really excited about this weekend, should be relaxing and fun. Arcade Fire at the Hollywood Bowl on Thursday from the 6th row is going to be amazing. And we're planning on watching the Husker game in Orange at Danny K's. Hopefully the result is better than against SC. :-)

-Will

And I would explode just to save your life

The past two months have been incredibly rewarding and jam packed. E3 was in the middle of July, we had a lot of work leading up to it and then random circumstances came into play and my life over the next two months took a dramatic twist that I couldn't have seen coming.

Since then, I've been swamped with work and travel. I spent a weekend in New York City with our lead MP programmer, our producer and a Resistance tournament. My brother came up and I hung out with him as well. That weekend involved drinking, gaming, Broadway, the WTC, and more.

I found myself in Seattle, spending the weekend at PAX - but more importantly, getting a chance to validate the previous six weeks of e-mail and phone calls. After skydiving, eating amazing food and just hanging out - it was pretty much one of the best weekends I've ever had. I closed it off by spending time with Matt Johnson hiking and hanging out, as well as seeing his new place and dog. Then, I had dinner with my family - grandparents, aunt, and my aunt, uncle, cousin and the newest addition to the family 4 week old Selah.

A few days later, it was off to Lincoln - where I saw Johnson some more as he stayed with me at my parents for Matt Brand's wedding. I went to the football game, ate at the Oven and Lazlos (twice), and it was just good to be home for a while. The wedding was fun too, with lots of friends I hadn't seen and a lot of time to catch up.

Last weekend I was in San Diego, hanging with Ashley and Amber, and watching football with them. Always good to see Nebraska play with friends.

Mere hours from now, I'm taking a flight back to Nebraska for the USC/Nebraska game. The first instance during my lifetime of Nebraska facing the #1 team in Lincoln. Also the first time ever that team isn't Oklahoma. This is a huge game, a statement game. On paper, it doesn't look good, USC should win. But College Football is about heart, intangibles, and willing yourself to win. The crowd will be ready, will the players? We'll find out. GameDay is in town that morning, and I'll have plenty of other time to get good food and hang out. Looking forward to it.

Next weekend is promising to be interesting. It's a continuation of E3 and Seattle, and it opens on Thursday with the Arcade Fire at the Hollywood Bowl (a show I have 6th row tickets for). Given everything since Seattle, I am very excited - though I had a 3am MSN message throw a wrench at me this morning that could change everything. Move to London? That said, I wouldn't ever get in the way of a great opportunity, but it's not exactly what I was expecting when I woke up this morning.

Anyways, I realize I've been rather vague about some aspects of the past couple months. With extra doubt caused by this morning, it's particularly intentional at this aspect. I hope to share a lot more with you in the future, and I hope to keep this updated a little bit more regularly from here on out.

Until then, you all are in my thoughts. If you are in Lincoln this weekend, call my cell. I'll be around.

-Will

If the snow buries my, my neighborhood

I've got a recap post, as well as some thoughts on the past few months and other photos from different things.

In addition to all that, I'll have photos of Tracy's Wedding, Nebraska's appearance in the Tempe Regional (YAYAYAYAYAYA! I get to see the baseball team), and my family reunion in Chicago in the weeks to come.

And if I don't update this like I said I would, well, not much has changed.

-Will

Edit- Johnson says he hates that photo... I really like it though!